Neither me nor my former wife was ever really into Valentine's Day
It was certainly not the case that we weren't romantic types; we had a very passionate relationship in many ways, at least until she got sick (It is hard to feel very loving when you are also feeling like dried dog shit from the effects of chemotherapy and radiation). But we kind of lived Valentine's day every day; why should a holiday which we thought was mostly media and marketing hype get in the way of smoothly functioning dyad? We did cards and flowers and steamy sex and that was enough. So today's romantic holiday shouldn't be an especially strong trigger to me, particularly as I have had relationships break apart in the past on this very day.
Nevertheless, the diaries that appear in this groups are from those who have loved and grieved. Sounds almost like a tautology; who would mourn the loss of someone not loved? For the grieving a romantic holiday can be a trigger, even if it didn't mean all that much when the person was alive; to some the day means a great deal. And as I often insist, the emotions triggered are often complicated, not simple, because life is complicated and very few are truly simple.
Je suis desja d'amour tanné,
Ma tres doulce Valentinée
(I am already sick of love,
My very gentle Valentine,)
Charles d'Orléans, Rondeau VI, lines 1–2
Still, it is valentine's day. What is it that is in my heart? What is it in yours? What indeed is in the lover's heart?